Tuesday, October 26, 2010

One Month Down

Okay, so we are a little more than one month into this deployment. Unfortunately, it still doesn't really feel like it has even started, because Steve is still state-side. I hate to wish for him to "hurry up and leave already", but I don't think I will feel like we are making progress (in getting this over with) until he gets to where he is going. Sounds weird, but somewhere in there, it makes sense to me. I know in a few weeks, when he is actually in Iraq, I'm going to be kicking myself, because we won't be able to call each other and text all the time like we do now.

The boys are doing really well. They really amaze me and I am constantly proud of them. They kind of go in cycles where one of them struggles and the other is doing better. Right now Griff seems to be having trouble, but I think a lot of that also has to do with all the transition he's going through, starting preschool. Today was the first day where he didn't sob uncontrollably when I dropped him off, so we are making progress!

I'm still plugging away, and I feel like I have settled into my new "normal". I miss Steve so much. I knew that I would, but I really had no idea I'd miss him this much. What can I say, I like the guy. A lot.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Thanks, Neighbor!

A couple of days ago, I had quite the interesting interaction with my neighbor. By the way, this would be the same neighbor who offered his help, the last time that Steve was deployed. I'd just returned home from picking my oldest up from school, and we were all getting out of the truck. Neighbor is standing out in his front yard, and we have the following exchange:

Neighbor: HEY! So your husband is coming home.
Me: Huh??
Neighbor: Yeah, they are sending the [insert name of my husband's brigade] home because they don't want them over there.
Me: Ummm....I don't thinks so.
Neighbor: Yes they are! So-and-so told me (so-and-so, by the way, isn't anyone I've ever heard of, but apparently his name was supposed to mean something to me).
Me: That's news to me, but I haven't heard anything about it.

Neighbor then responds with a shrug that says, "Whatever, you Stupid Woman."

What was stressing me out during this brief interaction was that one of the boys would pick up on this and then be saying, "Daddy's coming home????" By some small miracle, neither of them seemed to have heard - - they were too busy scrambling out of the truck, thank goodness. Seriously, Crazy Neighbor...use your head! Mind you, this is also the same neighbor who, a couple of hours later, yelled at me for letting my kids push each other up and down the sidewalk in their Cozy Coupe. Apparently the noise it produced wasn't to his liking.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010


I've been struggling with this particular blog a little - - I think it is because my original blog, while a chronicle of sorts, tends to be about specific things - - something I baked, something I did with the kids, etc.. I think in my mind, I've been holding off on writing a lot of things because I keep waiting for something "specific" to happen, deployment related, when what I really wanted this to be more of a stream-of consciousness so I could keep record of this deployment. How's that for a run-on sentence? I've also realized that I don't tend to write if I don't have a picture to go with it, but really, there isn't a whole lot to photograph in relation to what's going on here. So, I think I'll give this blog another shot. What I have to keep reminding myself is that this is really more of a journal for myself and my family. Don't know why I have to make everything so confusing.

We are three weeks in (with 50-something more to go!) but I have to say, things are going well. One of my fears is that I would be bored. I've always looked forward to Steve's companionship at the end of each day, and this time around I am home full-time, rather than working full-time, so I was concerned that I'd never see another human and that the only conversations I'd have would revolve around Legos, Bakugans, and who annoyed who first. Luckily, that is all proving to be wasted worry. I'm "Room Mom" for Camden's second-grade class, we have soccer going on (although ending this week), church, library stuff, and, last but not least, I've just signed on to be Den Mother to ten second grade Cub Scouts. Lord help me.

The boys are doing well, and while they make great strides each week (in dealing with Steve's absence), I have to say I have been surprised at just how difficult it is for them. We are still having nights where Camden has a good cry before going to sleep at night and really, it is heartbreaking. I know how much I miss Steve, but then I think about being seven years old and not exactly understanding why all of this is happening and it just about kills me. Yesterday, as I was rushing around getting Camden ready for school, I happened upon Griff sitting in the rocking chair, kind of staring off into space. I asked him what he was thinking about, and he said, "When my Dad's in Mississippi, my heart has a big crack in it." Two minutes before, he'd been eating cereal and watching cartoons, and two minutes later he was off playing in his bedroom, but I have to constantly remind myself that they are both thinking about this a lot. At times I feel pretty much helpless as to how to help them feel better. This is the part that I really, really do not like.

As for me, I'm doing fine, although I seem to keep feeling very overwhelmed with all the "stuff" I need to do. I know that making a list each morning would really help, so I need to get back into that habit. I think I did it for one day, and was amazed at how much I'd felt I'd accomplished at the end of the day. Clearly, it is also hard to feel as though I'm getting any time to myself but I'm not sure that there is really a way around that one. I've had grand plans of staying up each night, after the boys go to bed, but I'm finding that instead, I'm in bed right after they are, so that I can do some reading. I kind of like that kind of "me" time better than the chore-accomplishing kind anyway!

Steve is doing well and his schedule has allowed for us to have lots of contact with him. I'm glad that the boys are pretty much able to call him whenever the mood strikes, and we continue to use Skype as well.

I hear a 4-year old stirring in the next room, which is my signal to get this day in motion.

Monday, October 4, 2010

I Love Technology

Skyping with Daddy
We finally have Skype up and running, after a few pratfalls. I ordered a new battery for my laptop, along with a fancy-pants web cam, and then waited patiently for them to arrive. When they did, I plugged in my laptop to charge the new battery, only to find that my power cord was dead. Luckily for me, Dell was super nice and sent the cord to me by overnight mail at no charge. Thanks, Dell! We were able to try it out last Thursday, and it was really great to actually "see" Steve's face. The boys just loved it! Yesterday, Camden was missing Steve pretty badly, so he called him up and told him that he wished he could see him on the computer. A few minutes later, Steve called back and was at the Internet cafe and the boys spent some time chatting with him. So wonderful to be able to do this!